Yesterday was my first day at the gym as part of my fitness plan. I wasn’t sure how my body was going to handle a vigorous work out since the last time I set foot in a gym was back in the summer of 2004. Six years ago I began working out to lose all the weight I had gained in my first year of university – 30 lbs. Thirty pounds of disgusting cafeteria food and me being a sloth for an entire year. I was so out of shape – I believe people refer it as being round, that nothing fit. I was the biggest I had ever been in terms of clothing size and it felt like I was being defeated. This was also the time when I made an impromptu decision to become a vegetarian.

Not eating meat and working out everyday made a world of difference. I was eating very healthy meals and working my butt off at the gym that by the time summer was over and it was time to go back to school, I had lost all the weight I had gained, plus a bit more. The best part about it was that people noticed.

Back to yesterday – I’m not going to lie, I had been putting off working out since May. MAY. And last week, I finally smartened up. Yesterday was a bit challenging and it felt like the fist day at a new school – new gym, new faces, new machines. I tried to not let that bother me and I went at it. Mind you, I cursed at the elliptical machine in my head and I wanted to quit not even half way into my work out, but I didn’t. That’s the old me. The old me always takes the easy way out of a situation, and I can’t keep doing that because I’ll never get anywhere and I’ll never reach my goals.

I have a weight loss goal in my mind (and my BMI and weight loss apps), but it’s going to take a long time and a lot of hard work to get there. I’m finally ready for the challenge. A bit late, but better late than never.

Over the past few months, I’ve been feeling very blah. No energy. No motivation. Nothing to get or feel inspired about – hence my extended absence.

I’ve decided to smarten up and start moving and getting excited about life. A few weeks ago I did a detox cleanse and I felt fantastic after it was finished. Since the cleanse was accompanied by a strict diet plan, I lost a few pounds and found out which foods I can and cannot eat. Both made me really happy.

My friend Kathy and I decided to go on vacation together. A beach vacation. Since I’ve gained so much weight in the last year and a half, and I haven’t put on a bathing suit in just as long, I’ve decided that enough is enough, and that I needed to start working out again. On Monday, I (along with the best boyfriend in the world) started using Hip Hop Abs, and boy oh boy is it a good workout. We both look like the biggest tools, but my body is getting a good workout regardless of how silly I look or feel. In addition to the at-home workout, I think I’ll be using my condo’s gym facilities. Might as well use it since it’s included in my rent.

To go along with feeling better physically, I need to start feeling better emotionally. I finally realized that those who I thought were friends are really not, and I need to stop worrying about them and just focus on me and those who matter the most. Yesterday, I went on a mass Facebook friend delete and removed the people that don’t play an important role in my life, and I’ll be doing it again later. Over the past two months, I’ve reconnected with my childhood friends, and honestly, it was the best feeling in the world. I never realized just how much I had missed them and what a bad friend I had been over the years. I haven’t been this happy in a really long time, and I hope things stays this way.

I haven’t posted in a really long time. A month and a half.

During this time off, I decided that my site needs a revamp, a face lift, a new look. I’m bored with the pink and brown – it just doesn’t appeal to me as much as it did when Travis and I first designed it.

Over the past couple of weeks, Travis has been talking about making the switch to Tumblr from WordPress and last weekend, he took the plunge. His site looks great c/o a beautiful theme he found (and paid for), so now he wants me to switch too.

I’m not sure what to do, mainly because I don’t want to turn my back on WordPress since I already know how to use it and this is where my first real blog lived. However I did find a theme I like on Tumblr that would probably get me more interested in posting and sharing. So this is where I’m stuck.

Do I stick to what I know and what I’m used to, or do I try something completely new and different to me?

Travis and I are going on week three at our new place downtown. We both love it. Our condo is beautiful, the walk to work is only 10 minutes compared to the hour and a half one way commuting that I used to do on the train. I knew that there wouldn’t be a problem living with Travis, but what I didn’t bargain for was my lack of sleep and very weird dreams.

The lack of sleep comes courtesy of my lovely cat, Danka. The first couple of nights she was very scared of her new surroundings and just slept for two and a half days straight. But when she finally got used to everything, the peace and quiet stopped. Because our place is open concept, I can hear everything, and I mean everything. Our windows face the city, so I can hear all of the traffic, sirens, city sweepers and drunks girls on the weekend. I can also hear everything that little Danka does; use the litter box, jump on the desk, eat her food, try to flip over the mat under her dishes, and most annoying, I can hear her opening the sliding closet doors in the hallway and our bedroom. Needless to say, I’m getting no sleep, and when I do sleep, I’m having the most strange and bizarre dreams.

I can’t remember them all, but I do remember a few. One I had last week was I had an itchy wrist, presumably from allergies, so I started scratching. Well, my wrist started bleeding, a lot. So much that I managed to open it and have blood spuing all over the place. The second one I remember was (I think) a continuation of the first dream. Same itchy wrist, same scratching, but this time, there was no blood. My wrist opened up like a flap and I could see inside – it was hollow.

The dream I had last night was really random. I was talking to Jim Carrey and he was talking about how he bought a heritage house and turn it into a massive, fully functional tea pot. There was a giant thought bubble (like in cartoons) over his head and I could see into it. I could see this giant water wheel turning to heat up the water, the tea steeping inside and then the house pouring a cup of tea. He was serious about this renovation, and the thought of a tea house sounded pretty awesome to me. And then I woke up.

I have no idea what these dreams mean, but they are by far some of the strangest ones I’ve ever had.

If anyone has any clue what these dreams mean or why I may be having them, I’d love to know!

Is this real life?

(Click the picture for the larger version)

I’ve been feeling pretty uninspired lately. Plus, I’ve been in a bit of a funk, and haven’t really felt like writing anything.

This morning when I left for work, the sun was out. Something this simple after months of darkness in the morning really cheered me up. The sun was beating down on my face while I rode the train into Toronto. I felt so amazing with the light on my cheeks and listening to The Strokes Is This It?

I’m hoping that will the arrival of spring will help cheer me up and liven up my spirits.

One of the blogs I follow, soul emaciation;, the owner has Formspring and posts the questions and answers on her blog.

For some reason, I decided to get an account. Think of it as a little social experiment with no real conclusion in the end.

If you want to find me, I’m here.

For the past four months, I’ve been commuting to work via GO Train, and lately it has really been taking a toll on me mentally and physically. The first two and a half months were not a problem, wake up, get on the train, work, get on the train, go to sleep. But just before Christmas is when I started noticing that I was really tired all the time, exhausted doesn’t even seem like the correct word to describe how I was feeling. I began napping on the train (two and from work) and I felt like a zombie while at work. It was mutually decided that Travis and I really needed to move downtown because he was starting to feel the same way.

Travis and I had been looking at apartments, condos and lofts in the downtown core for months, but when the new year rang in, we took it a lot more seriously. Late last week, Travis and I went for our first showing. The place was located right in between where our jobs are located, so the commute, or lack there of, was about a 10 minute walk. The building was fabulous, modern, and was once a hotel, but half is now converted into condos, the things Travis and I are really looking for in a place.

We walked in and reality sunk in. It was small, really small. Not quite 600 sq feet small. Having lived in a house my whole life I was used to having a lot of space to move around in. This place you could turn around and you would have seen everything. That was one strike. Strike two was that there was no lighting in the living room or bedroom, and the lighting in the kitchen and bathroom were too dim. Strike three was that parking was extra. Travis and I want to keep my car for at least the first year, and not having a readily available parking spot is a problem. Having to hunt down a parking spot and pay another $150-$200 more a month is too much money.

And so the search continues. We found four more places we are interested in, so hopefully we can see them this week without being told that the places are already gone or that there is a bidding war between two couples (like we have experienced before.)

My and Travis’ goal is the find a place and move in no later than the middle of March. I can’t wait to see even more places and finally make the big move.